


Throwing Knives VS Apples

by thedezgyrl



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Apple - Freeform, Comedy, Dare, Funny, I Don't Even Know, Other, Parody, bet, drunk, knife, weird headcanon shenanigans
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-03-15
Updated: 2015-03-15
Packaged: 2018-03-18 00:46:37
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 844
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3549848
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thedezgyrl/pseuds/thedezgyrl
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Under the drunk provoking of Hange. A drunk Levi takes her challenge that his throwing knife skills are up to par.  Even while under the influence. All he needs is a knife, a few apples, and a volunteer- Marco Bott.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Throwing Knives VS Apples

**Author's Note:**

> I just got a weird headcanon of two drunk characters arguing. No series or characters in particular. So when I began writing it. This is what I got.

"I bet I could do it!" A drunk Levi exclaimed to an even drunker Hange. She had told him that his throwing knife skills sucked. Especially when he was inebriated.

The corporal took this as a challenge. So he decided once and for all to prove her wrong. All he needed was a volunteer to help him out.

At that very moment he spied Jean and Marco walking by. Jean apparently saying something funny. Because Marco's baby face was deeply flushing.

"I need to borrow you for a moment." Levi said as he grabbed Marco by the wrist. Separating him from a confused Jean. Jean tried to reach out for Marco. Yet even a drunk, nearly stumbling Levi, was still, a very mobile Levi.

Levi shoved Marco against the wall, having him put his legs together, and his arms out to his sides. Then gave each hand an apple to hold.

"I need you to stand just like that." Levi nodded with approval. "Almost as if you are being crucified."

"If the corporal is not careful. He will be crucified." Oluo elbowed Petra in the side.

"That's not funny! Don't say such a thing." Petra scowled at him and then returned her attention to the spectacle.

Marco gave Jean a 'help me' look. Not wanting to move himself. Levi was his better after all. Whether he was shitfaced or not. Marco not wanting to face any reprimands.

Jean made the move to start intervening. When there was a swishing sound in the air and Marco cried out as the knife penetrated the apple. 

Levi strode over trying to maintain his balance and yanked the knife out of the wooden pub wall. 

"Sorry." Levi patted his shoulder. "I should have given you a warning Marco buddy. I will next time." The corporal promising him.

Marco knew if he spoke it would sound like he was going through puberty. Levi just scared the proverbial piss out of him. So he just roughly nodded his head and tried not to screw his eyes closed, from the fear gripping him.

Jean felt like his hands were tied. He wanted to go over there and just drag Marco away. Thanking his stars that Levi's throw was blessed with luck. They might not be as fortunate next time.

"Okay. Okay. Marco buddy. Ya ready? Thought I should warn you this time." Levi smirked and his head bobbled a little.

Marco couldn't answer him verbally and just gave him another curt nod.

Another swish through the air. The apple exploded in his grip and he could feel the knife twinging in the wood of the wall. 

Levi turned to Hange and gave her a smug look, "Still think I am a poor shot now?" Hange just gave him an indifferent shrug as she stared into her cup and proceeded to drink the remainder of its contents.

This made Levi a little more than upset. So he angrily snatched another apple from the basket on the table and marched over to Marco.

Marco believing he was done, had just stepped away from the wall of the pub, and was going to reunite with Jean. Maybe go to a dark corner to rest. Allowing his life to flash before him for a little while. 

"Nuh uh. I just need you to do this last thing." Levi said aggressively pushing him back against the wall. Then shoved the apple in his hand. "Now put this on top of your head."

"You have got to be insane!" Jean cried out exasperatedly to the corporal.

Levi stumbled around in a half circle to face him and pointed a finger at him, "Possibly I am. That is neither there or where."

Jean's eyes just narrowed at him. He was thinking to himself 'I am pretty sure, he meant, 'neither here nor there'. Before he could continue protesting. The corporal was about face again. Seeing the apple perched on top of Marco's pretty little head.

"Okay. Marco buddy. 1! 2!..." Levi wasn't even at three yet. When Erwin entered the pub and shouted for him. Levi's body tensed up, his shoulders knitted together, and he stumbled forward.

The throwing knife spun through the air and Marco screamed as the knife tip found it's mark.

"I am dead! Corporal Levi killed me. Oh god. Oh god! I can feel my blood pooling out." Marco whimpered to himself. He started hearing boot steps heavier than Levi's coming towards him.

"It's just apple juice Bott." Erwin told him with a hint of a chuckle. As he removed the knife and two apple halves thunked him on his head. 

Erwin walked away. Where he began lecturing Levi, walking away with him, an arm around his shoulder to steady him.

Finally Marco's legs whose knees were knocking together - collapsed under him. Jean rushed to him making sure he was alright for his own personal benefit.

Ever since that day. Marco and Jean avoided the pub while Levi was in there. It also took Marco awhile before wanting to even look at an apple.


End file.
